MIKEMO
by Who am I. Well. I'm just Me
Summary: Mikey's brothers are really angry at him and let out all his anger with hurting words... wanna know more? Read! Art by Sneefee
1. Chapter 1

IT'S EMO TIME! O_o

Ok, sorry for the random moment but seriously... this time, the fun-loving turtle is turning emo! Wanna know more? Read, enjoy, stay tunned and review!

I DON'T OWN TMNT

* * *

**MIK-EMO**

"This is the best prank EVER!"

The orange masked ninja had planned this prank for months and now it was ready to go. This time his three brothers would suffer the attack of the prankster! The guys were on patrol like always but this time Mikey had refused to go with them pretending he was sick. Even Don believed him! Yeah, Mikey was a great liar. And there he was, locked in his room waiting for the return of his brothers. Weeks ago, April had given him a journal for his birthday and now was the perfect time to put it in use.

How? Taking notes of all his pranks, of course! But soon, he would discover he would use it to write other kind of things. He waited and waited for hours, this was the toughest patience test he had to deal with but he knew it was worthy.

Finally the lair's door opened revealing three tired and bruised ninjas.

"Man! I feel like I've lifted an elephant… or maybe worse" Leo said stretching his arms.

"Those thugs had been training or what?" Raph said rubbing the back of his neck.

"Aww! My ribs hurt! My bruises hurt and the bruises of my bruises hurt, too!" Don said.

"I wonder how's Mikey doing. He didn't look so good" Leo said in concern.

"Better leave him sleep… and I guess we should do the same. I'm dead tired!" Don said.

"Believe me, ya don't need to tell me that twice" Raph muttered.

The three ninjas walked upstairs and after saying their 'good nights' to each other, they opened their respective door's rooms. Mikey heard the doors opening and grinned.

"Three… two… one…" Mikey whispered.

"WHAT THE…!" three voices exclaimed in unison before a bucket of pink paint emptied its containment on the guys.

"MIIIKEYYY!" the turtles yelled in anger.

* * *

"_Mikey's journal: Operation 'Triple Pink' was a success! Now, I gotta go out and laugh until I faint!" _Mikey wrote and left his room.

"HAHAHAHA! Whazzup dudes? You know, you look better in pink HAHAHAHAHA!"

"This is not funny, Mikey!" Don said angrily.

"You pretended to be sick so you could pull a prank on us? Shame on you, Michelangelo!" Leo said in a serious tone.

"Aww! C'mon guys! It's not so bad! Hahahaha" Mikey laughed.

"We're damn tired, ya stupid! We just wanted to go to our beds and get some decent sleep after kickin' those punks' butts… JUST THE THREE OF US… because certain knucklehead pretended to be sick to stay here and PULL A STUPID PRANK!" Raph yelled.

"Chill out, Raph! It was just an innocent prank. I'm sorry!" Mikey apologized still laughing.

"No, no yer not! I'll show ya sorry!" Raph cracked his knuckles and when was about to hit his brother Leo stopped him.

"Raph! Forget it; don't waste your strength on him… and your breath" Leo said.

"Hey! What does that mean?" Mikey asked feeling half offended and confused.

"See? Trying to talk with Mikey is like talking with a brick wall… and even the brick wall has more brain than him" Don hissed.

"Ouch, Donnie! That hurt!" Mikey exclaimed, feeling offended this time.

"We better go and take a shower, guys" Leo said turning around, being followed by his brothers and fully ignoring Mikey.

"Oh! So, you're ignoring me now? Fine, no biggie! I know you're just angry and tomorrow we'll forget all this thing and laugh, right?" Mikey asked in a friendly tone.

The slimed turtles stopped their steps and turned around again with emotionless expressions on their faces.

"Right? Guys?" Mikey insisted, the smile on his face disappearing slowly.

"Ya know Mikey? Ya got one thing right, we are angry. But no, nobody is gonna laugh at this today or tomorrow or in the next 20 years! And lemme tell ya something: of all yer pranks this is the stupidest and lamest prank ever in yer life. Why don't ya put that brain of yers on something worthy? Well… if ya have a brain, of course" Raph said acidly.

"Stop it, Raph! Leo, aren't you gonna say something?" Mikey asked trying to control the incoming little tears on the corner of his eyes. Raph could hurt with his words but this was too much for the fun-loving turtle.

"All that I wanted to say… it's already been said, Michelangelo. Somehow, Raph and Don are right. Plus, we needed you tonight and you lied; we were outnumbered, Michelangelo! What if one of us had been hurt or worse? Could you live with that?" Leo said increasing the tone of his voice as he lectured Mikey. The orange masked turtle lowered his gaze in shame.

"Think about it" Leo ended and went down stairs with his brothers.

"But…" Mikey tried to talk again but his brothers were already gone. He went to his room and locked the door; then, he slumped on his bed and took his journal.

* * *

"_Mikey's Journal: Operation 'Triple Pink', my shell! They weren't exaggerating about their injuries. I just saw them and they looked so bruised and tired and… Aww shell! And now they're really angry at me! And those words! It hurt when they called me like that; sure Raph calls me knucklehead or numbskull but this time… he really meant it when he said it! Donnie called me brainless and… and… and Leo… he… he didn't say anything! In fact he agreed with them! I screwed it up this time… BIG TIME!"_


	2. Chapter 2

"_Mikey's Journal: You know that I always make breakfast for the guys and sensei, right? Well, not today. I woke up this morning and it was 9:30 am. Lucky me is Sunday or Master Splinter would be lecturing me 'til my ears explode or something. The reason of my insomnia? No, not nightmares this time; in fact I was thinking of my latest prank and the guys' reactions. I think I have to make it up with to them but how? They were really angry last night! I don't think they're gonna forgive me but there's no harm in trying my luck. Who knows! Maybe they forgot everything! I better go down there now. Wish me luck!"_

Mikey hid his journal under the pillow and left his room. He went to the kitchen and found nothing but dishes. It looked like Raph made breakfast by the little tsunami he made with the pans and ingredients. Sure he was a good chef but he had a problem with the order in the kitchen… and his room of course.

Mikey settled down for doing the dishes before going to see what his brothers were doing. Leo probably in the dojo or maybe reading in his bedroom, Raph in the garage or watching TV, Don… probably locked in his lab doing some nerdy stuff and his sensei was visiting The Ancient One for a couple of weeks. Once the dishes were done, the orange masked ninja moved to the lab guided by the sound of Don's tools.

"Hey Don…" Mikey said happily.

"Oh, it's just you. Why I'm not surprised? It's so difficult to remember to know the door before you come here? Or maybe I have to demonstrate you how it's done" Don said drily.

"Hey! Enough with the sarcasm"

"What do you want Mikey? I'm busy here!" Don asked still focused on his work.

"Those are old news, bro" Mikey teased. Don sighed heavily in exasperation.

"Since you don't have any productive to say, which is not new, leave me work in peace, please" Don said giving Mikey a serious gaze for a few second before he returned it to his tools.

Mikey was shocked at his most gentle brother's behavior. He stood in the door frame and looked how Don completely ignored him.

_Did I say something stupid?__  
__There goes one more mistake__  
__Do I bore you with my problems?__  
__Is that why you turn away?_

_Do you know how hard I tried__  
__To become what you want me to be?_

_Take me__  
__This is all that I've got__  
__This is all that I'm not__  
__All that I'll ever be__  
__I've got flaws, I've got faults__  
__Keep searching for your perfect heart__  
__It doesn't matter who you are__  
__We all have our scars__  
__We all have our scars__  
_

The orange masked ninja left the place and went to the dojo where Leo was training as usual. He thought he may had a chance with his eldest brother like always … but this time, things were gonna be very different.

"Hi Leo!" Mikey greeted.

"Well, look who just got up!" Leo said as he performed a kata.

"I couldn't sleep well last night" Mikey said.

"Let me guess, creating another prank?" Leo asked harshly.

"Eh?" Mikey stared at his brother in confusion.

"That answers my question" Leo muttered and glanced at Mikey with an emotionless face.

"Look Leo, I'm sorry for last night" Mikey apologized.

"Michelangelo, it's not so simple that coming here and say I'm sorry and keep going with your life. You need to grow up. Now, leave me alone; I need to practice my katas" Leo said and went back to his training.

_You say don't act like a child__  
__But what if it's a father I need?__  
__It's not like you don't know what you got yourself into__  
__Don't tell me I'm the one who's naive__  
__Do you know how hard I've tried__  
__To become who you want me to be?_

_Take me__  
__This is all that I've got__  
__This is all that I'm not__  
__All that I'll ever be__  
__I've got flaws, I've got faults__  
__Keep searching for your perfect heart__  
__It doesn't matter who you are__  
__We all have our scars__  
__We all have our scars__  
_

Now Mikey was more shocked than before. His eldest brother, his protector hated him, too. Mikey couldn't stand this and ran out of the dojo making his way to the garage. Raph was his last opportunity but now Mikey doubted on going in there and talk to Raph now he had seen his other two brothers' reactions. He needed to try, no matter what. He took a deep breath and entered into his hotheaded brother's sanctuary.

"Hey R…" Mikey tried to greet his brother but was abruptly cut off.

"Get lost Mike, I'm busy" Raph said from below his bike.

"Jeez! Looks like someone got up with the wrong foot" Mikey said.

"Mike, last night Leo saved ya from the shell-kick of yer life. Don't make ruin his job. Now go away before I change my mind" Raph prevented him and went back to what he was doing.

"You did breakfast, huh?" Mikey said trying to have a normal chit chat with his brother… his last chance of redemption.

"What part of GO AWAY ya didn't get?" Raph yelled angrily making Mikey to run away as fast as he could.

* * *

The orange masked ninja locked in his room and started to write again.

"_Mikey's Journal: It's me again. I tried to apologize but… nothing. They hate me, I know… I can feel it! Maybe you're thinking: Oh! What a drama queen! But I can't help it! That's how I'm feeling. That prank… it was that bad? It was just paint! Sure they were tired and everything but I think it was pretty harmless if you ask me; I've done worse than that. Anyway, I think they're only doing this to give me a lesson or something. If that's how they wanna play… then let's play"_

_

* * *

_

The whole day the guys just ignored Mikey; it was kinda hard to deal for the orange masked ninja but he had to pretend he was following his brother's game. What he didn't know is that this wasn't a game; they were ignoring him for real and Mikey realized that as the hours passed by.

At the end of the day, things weren't changing between Mikey and his brothers. This was hurting Mikey… badly; he couldn't understand why his brothers where doing this. To bother him? To scare him? Or they just didn't care about him anymore.

_Come on, just let it go__  
__These are things you can't control__  
__Your expectations, your explanations__  
__Don't make sense to me__  
__You and your alternatives__  
__Don't send me to your therapists__  
__Deep down, I know what you mean__  
__And I'm not sure that's what I wanna be__  
__No__  
_

He wanted to plead them, to do whatever they want… he would give everything he had just to have his brothers back to him.

_Take me__  
__This is all that I've got__  
__This is all that I'm not__  
__All that I'll ever be__  
__I've got flaws, I've got faults__  
__Keep searching for your perfect heart__  
__It doesn't matter who you are__  
__We all have our scars__  
__We all have our scars__  
__Oh no no no__  
_

The tears didn't seem to stop as he grabbed his pillow fiercely trying to stop them. In his mind, he heard his brothers hurting words… haunting him, taking his sleep away and breaking his heart into pieces.

"I'm sorry… I really am! I'm sorry… I'm sorry…" Mikey sobbed and soon fell asleep… still crying.

_Did I say something stupid__  
__There goes one more mistake…_


	3. Chapter 3

"_Mikey's Journal: My head hurts like shell! Last night I cried 'til I fell asleep. Childish? Maybe… Weak? Probably… I don't know what to think now. I usually don't get up so early, it's 5:10 am now. I guess I'll have breakfast first and leave the guys' ones in the table. Maybe they're still angry and they don't want me near even for breakfast and… well, I can't stand more harsh words and cold gazes for now."_

* * *

Mikey left his room; his steps were slow and his eyes were still aflame. Before going to the kitchen, he passed by his brothers' rooms; each one of them were deeply asleep. After that, the orange masked ninja made his way to the kitchen and had a lonely and silent breakfast.

It didn't feel the same; he missed his morning chit chats with Don, the little arguments he had with Raph and the well known lectures Leo gave him for staying up late at night because of his video games. He chuckled at the memory and finished his food; then he started to prepare the others' food.

Once he finished, he cleaned the utensils he used. It was 5:40, his brothers were going to get up soon and he had to hurry. Why? He wasn't sure himself. His brothers weren't monsters, so… why was he hiding? But somehow he was scared at them now. Suddenly, sound of footsteps made him jump back and accidentally cut his finger with the knife he was cleaning.

He stared at the little cut while a blood drop made his way down his hand. It felt different, weird and… nice. The world around him disappeared; his thoughts and pain were replaced by the smooth feeling of this little cut. The footsteps increased making Mikey snap of his thoughts and leaving the place as fast as he could; but he couldn't use the stairs now, so he locked himself in the bathroom.

Once there, Mikey looked at his tiny wound; it had stopped bleeding for now but the feeling didn't go away. He had cut himself while he cooked sometimes or in fights but this cut was way different than the others, this cut actually felt good in sort a way. Yeah, it still hurt but it was bearable this time. He had to write this experience immediately, so he waited until his brothers were in the kitchen and left the bathroom making his way to his room, locking the door behind him.

* * *

"_Mikey's Journal: Something really creepy happened a few minutes ago! Well, I don't know if it was creepy but… whatever. Here's the thing: I was doing the dishes after finishing the guys' breakfasts and I got scared when I heard someone coming. Yeah, yeah, laugh all what you want but it's true. Anyway, I had a knife and I cut myself accidentally. Now, the weird thing is… it felt… good. I know it sounds strange but that's how I felt, wait… how I feel, actually. Maybe it's just my imagination but… what if I try again? You know, just to be sure I'm not going crazy"_

* * *

**Back to the kitchen…**

"Seems like someone was already here" Leo said noticing the table full of food.

"Ya think is anotha prank of the numbskull?" Raph asked.

"I don't think so. I guess he'd learnt his lesson already and I guess he won't pull a prank on us for a long, long time" Leo said.

"You think we were kinda hard on him?" Don asked.

"He ain't a kid, Don. He'll be ok" Raph said taking a seat.

"Still, I'm worried about him. I shouldn't have tell him those things" Don sighed sadly.

"Yeah, neither should I. But I think he needs to mature; well, maybe this wasn't the best way to do it but…" Leo said but Raph interrupted him.

"Guys, guys! Relax! Mikey ain't weak and I'm sure he's fine by now. Heck! He even made our breakfast!" Raph said calming his brothers.

"If he's ok… then why he's not here?" Don replied.

"Duh! Maybe he made it and then he went to the bathroom and took a shower or sumthin'! Yer worryin' fer nothin' here!" Raph said.

"I hope you're right, Raph" Leo said.

But he was wrong, all of them were. They didn't have any idea of the damage they all had done to his most innocent brother and now… there was no turning back for Mikey. He was decided to explore this new sensation, this soothing and yet painful sensation but somehow… a relief to his internal pain, an option, a way to heal those wounds with another ones.

* * *

The orange masked ninja made his way stealthy as he could to the dojo and grabbed some kunais; the dojo were plenty of sharp weapons so it wasn't so hard to get those ones. The guys were still in the kitchen so they didn't notice Mikey. Perfect, he thought. Now, he had to put his discovery on testing phase.

"Well, here goes nothing" Mikey said.

The orange masked ninja prinked his finger with the tip of the kunai and waited for the blood. Once he saw it, the smooth sensation appeared again. Mikey concentrated his sense in the blood slowly rolling down his palm.

* * *

"_Mikey's Journal: Whoa! It happened again! I prinked my finger and… the way the blood appeared… it was… it felt… I can't even explain it! But one thing is for sure… I have to do it again. I NEED to do it again!"_ Mikey wrote.

After this, he made a small cut on his palm. He winced a little but once the blood came out from the wound, he forgot the pain and focused on the scarlet line drawn on his hand. For a moment, the hurting words, the feeling of being hated… all was gone.

* * *

"_Mikey's Journal: Today, Monday, September 12__th__; I, Michelangelo, have found the cure to my pain. With more pain… bearable pain,_ soothing pain… sweet pain…" Mikey wrote staining the page with a little blood from his hand. He continued writing.

"… _no more fun-loving, weak, brainless, stupid numbskull Mikey. He died today. From now and on, it will only exist Michelangelo… just Michelangelo"_


	4. Chapter 4

With Splinter gone for two weeks, Leo directed the training sessions now. Things had been kinda quiet in the lair and the guys hadn't seen Mikey for 3 days. The latter only left his room for training and for his biological necessities; he tried not to talk to his brothers but every time they did it, he remembered their harsh words and ended up cutting himself.

In the last 3 days, Mikey had been sleeping, writing in his journal and trying to hide the cuts in his wrists. The kunais were sharp but the wounds weren't so deep and with some tight bandages plus the leather wrist bands and with a lot of luck, Mikey's brothers would never discover the cuts for now.

"Raph, more pressure on that kick" Leo said "Don, lift your arm a little higher. Mikey, you…"

"Michelangelo, if you don't mind" Mikey interrupted Leo.

"Still angry, huh?" Raph mocked his younger brother.

"It's not that, Raphael. I would like you to call me by my full name, that's it" Mikey said.

"O…k, then… Michelangelo, your moves were a little… clumsy today. No offense but that's the only way I can describe it" Leo said.

"I'll work on that"

"Well, practice is over for now. How about some pizza?"

"Count me in!" Raph said.

"Same here!" Don said. The turtles left the dojo… all but one.

"Aren't you coming?" Leo said looking at Mikey.

"No" Mikey said coldly and started to do some katas, which was weird for the fun-loving turtle.

"You guys go. I gotta talk to him" Leo said to his brothers.

Once they were gone, the blue masked ninja entered into the dojo. He knew something was bothering his little brother; he hadn't left his room since the lecture the three of them gave Mikey for his last prank. Though he knew they were kinda hard on him, he didn't think that could have affected him that much.

"Hey… eh… you ok?" Leo asked trying to sound friendly.

"Yeah" Mikey answered dryly and continued his katas.

"Seems like not to me" Leo said crossing his arms.

"Don't you have a pizza to eat?" Mikey said bitterly.

"Geez! What's wrong with you?" Leo said a little shocked by his brother's attitude.

"Nothing is wrong with me, Leonardo!" Mikey yelled.

"Look, if this is for the lecture then… I'm sorry! Ok? But that prank was awful and you lied; I think you deserved it" Leo said.

"Yeah, thanks for remind me how stupid I am!" Mikey said angrily and left the dojo.

"What! I didn't say…"

"Forget it. Leave me alone! Go with your brothers" Mikey interrupted Leo abruptly and went upstairs.

"Mik…"

"My name is Michelangelo!" Mike yelled and slammed the door. He slumped in the bed and took his journal.

"_Mikey's Journal: Wait… I gotta change that… Michelangelo's Journal: Ok, that's better. Leo's such a jerk! He thinks he can lecture me and apologize like nothing had happened but he's way wrong if he thinks a stupid pizza with his stupid brothers is gonna make me change my mind" _Mikey wrote before tossing the diary in the floor. He grabbed the kunai and added a new cut to his 'collection'.

* * *

"Hey Leo! Ya comin' or what?" Raph asked entering into the dojo.

"Something's wrong with Mikey" Leo said in a worried tone.

"Wrong? Like what?" Don asked.

"I don't know. He looked… weird, cold, angry…"

"You tried to talk to him?" Don asked in concern.

"Yeah and he just locked himself in his room. I think this is for the lecture" Leo said.

"C'mon Leo! Stop feelin' sorry for the knucklehead. He'll be ok in the morning" Raph said making his way to the living room.

"You said the same _this_ morning, Raph" Don said following him.

"I guess tomorrow we are all gonna talk to Mikey, ok?" Leo said.

"Why not now?" Don replied.

"He's angry enough now. We better leave him to cool down" Leo sighed and made his way to the kitchen.

It was dinner time and Mikey wasn't there; the guys started to get worried by the minute. Mikey never missed dinner especially if his favorite Hawaiian pizza was the main dish.

"I don't know you guys, but I'm gonna talk to him now!" Don said seriously.

"Good luck with angry baby Mikey" Raph teased.

"Shut up, Raph!" Don argued leaving the table. The genius turtle knocked the door softly.

"Who's there?" Mikey asked.

"It's Don, bro. Brought you some pizza, in case you're hungry"

"I'm not. Leave" Mikey said.

"Are you feeling ok, Mik…"

"Michelangelo" Mikey said angrily.

"Ok… Michelangelo, I just wanna talk to you" Don said calmly.

"I said: Leave! You're smart so I assume you know what that means, right?" Mikey said huskily.

"Fine, I'll leave then" Don said sadly and left the door.

"_Michelangelo's Journal: Stupid genius. How dares he to come here and think he can fix it all with his stupid pizza? "I just wanna talk to you"… Heh! Right… so he can remember me who's the smartest here? No way in shell! Stupid Don, stupid Leo… stupid everyone!"_ with this, Mikey took out his kunai and cut himself again, a little deeper this time.

* * *

"And?" Leo asked once Don entered into the kitchen again.

"Nothing. He just threw me out" Don sighed.

"This is serious. He hadn't left that room for 3 days! Well, except for going to the bathroom and the training sessions" Leo said.

"He's not starvin', that's for sure. I noticed he wakes up earlier than us so he can take a bunch of food and takes it to his room" Raph said.

"And why you didn't say anything? May I have to remind you he's your brother, too?" Don said angrily.

"Guys, stop! It's enough problem having one brother against us" Leo said in his leader tone.

"So… what are we gonna do?" Don sighed heavily.

"At what time you've seen him getting up in the morning, Raph?" Leo asked.

"Hmm… I think… like 5 or 5:15 maybe" Raph said.

"Ok, set your alarms on 4:40. Mikey's gonna have an early talk with his cereal tomorrow" Leo said.


	5. Chapter 5

**4:40 am**

The turtles were ready to confront his orange masked brother; his weird behavior had started to worry Leo and the others. Raph had told them that his little brother used to wake up at 5:00 am so he could have his breakfast alone and after that, he locked himself in his room with lots of food. _That_ was a _very strange_ behavior for Mikey and now his brothers had to find out what was happening to the always cheerful Mikey they knew… and missed.

"At what time did you say he gets up, Raph?" Leo asked to Raph but the red masked ninja was leaning in the wall… snoring. Raph wasn't a morning turtle.

"Raph? Raph!" Leo shook him making him wake up again.

"W-wha… eh? _*yawn*_… is breakfast ready?" Raph mumbled tiredly rubbing his eyes.

"It's not joke-time, Raph!" Leo replied.

"Who says I'm joking? I'm hungry!" Raph replied back.

"Guys, I think he's coming!" Don said, hearing the sound of footsteps going to the kitchen.

Just like Raph had told them. Mikey prepared himself a quick breakfast and once he finished, the orange masked turtle grabbed a few items from the fridge and put them into a bag.

"This is the moment, guys" Leo said and moved to the kitchen being followed by the others. Mikey had half of his body stuck into the fridge that he didn't hear his brother walking and standing behind him so… when Mikey turned around…

"AHHHH! What's your problem! You almost gave me a heart attack!" Mikey yelled breathing rapidly trying to recover from the scare.

"Morning Mikey" Leo greeted him. At the nick name, Mikey rolled his eyes in exasperation.

"I told you; don't call me by that stupid nick name EVER again!" the orange masked ninja said angrily.

"Stupid nick name?" Leo asked shocked by his little brother's statement. Mikey loved that nick name! Why he was saying it was stupid now?

"You liked it before! In fact, you never let anyone to call you by your full name except Master Splinter" Don said.

"What if I don't like it anymore, huh? Got a problem with that?" Mikey said dryly.

"O…k, wise guy. Enough with da moody attitude!" Raph said getting angry at Mikey's behavior. He was angry enough for the fact he had to wake up extra early and this bro-to-bros chat wasn't going to anywhere which increased his anger.

"I wasn't talking to you, Raphael. This is between Donatello and me" Mikey said giving Raph an angry glare.

"Stop callin' us by our full names!" Raph said, his patience reaching its limits.

"Not my problem if you don't like your names, hothead" Mikey commented acidly.

"One word… just one more word, Mikey…"

"STOP CALLING ME LIKE THAT!" Mikey yelled and pushed Raph, making him trip over the chair and fall down to the ground.

"Michelangelo! Why did you do that?" Leo yelled looking at Mikey in shock for what he did.

"So ya wanna play, huh? Ok, let's play your way" Raph said as he stood up and took his battling pose.

"What? No sais? Heh! You should go get them because you're _nothing_ without your _giant toothpicks_" Mikey mocked him. That was the drop that spilled the cup.

Raph charged into attack, his fist directly to Mikey's face. The latter dodged the attack; Leo and Don tried to interfere but Mikey managed to drag Raph to the dojo with him pretending he was running away from the battle so Leo and Don couldn't stop them.

"Don't run, ya coward!" Raph yelled.

"Raph! Stop it!" Leo followed Raph.

"Mikey is so dead when Raph catches him" Don thought.

Raph arrived to the dojo, slamming and locking the door behind him; this fight was personal and he didn't want his brothers interfering. Mikey was already in place, arms crossed against his chest with a smug dark smile on his face. Raph panted trying to catch his breath.

"Tired? Aww… good!" Mikey mocked Raph.

"Listen… I don't wanna fight ya… but yer leavin' me no options!" Raph panted.

"Is that so? Or you're just scared of losing, _brother_?" Mikey hissed.

If Mikey wasn't a mutant ninja turtle and wearing his orange bandanna, Raph could have thought he was in front of one of his worst enemies. This wasn't Mikey, not his Mikey; _Mikey_ had been replaced for an angry and moody _Michelangelo_.

"Yer not mah brother anymore!" Raph yelled and took his battling pose.

Mikey charged into attack, Raph responded; punches going, kicks coming. Raph sent a fist to Mikey's jaw; the latter stumbled but shook his head recovering from the impact. In a different situation, Mikey would have fallen down and surrender after a punch like that but today was different, the anger and rancor he felt for his brothers' words a few days ago had given him unbelievable strength and willpower to defeat Raphael. Meanwhile, Leo and Don tried to open the dojo's door kicking it.

"I'll go for my swords" Leo said and ran upstairs.

"Guys, you have to stop!" Don yelled from outside the dojo.

The fight kept going; both Raph and Mikey were sweaty, panting trying to catch their breaths, arms with some bruises and their mouths bleeding a little for the punches. None of them was going to give up so once they recovered a little they went at each other again. In a moment of weakness, Raph kicked Mikey's ankle making him fell down, the red masked ninja took advantage of that and pinned Mikey, grabbing him by his neck but not so tight, he didn't want to strangulate him… yet.

"Ya give?" Raph asked.

"Never!" Mikey yelled.

The red masked ninja didn't see the little blade coming from Mikey's wristband… until he felt a sharp pain on his wrist. Mikey had cut Raph with one of the kunais he used to cut himself when he was depressed. The latter let go Mikey's neck, screaming in pain and grabbing his hurt wrist which was bleeding badly.

"What da shell! A kunai?" Raph asked in surprise.

"How clever! Do you want a gold star for that?" Mikey replied sarcastically. He kicked Raph in the stomach leaving him breathless.

"Mi… key… stop!" Raph panted clutching his stomach and trying to stop his bleeding wrist. The orange masked ninja put in use his kunai again, now slashing Raph's arm and chest.

"Who is the weak now, huh? Who is the clumsy, lame-brain now, huh?" Mikey yelled angrily.

"Raph! Mikey!" Don yelled getting worried for the screams that came from the dojo.

"Out of the way, Don" Leo ordered and sliced the door, opening it.

Leo and Don were horrified at the scene. Raph laid on the ground resting on his side breathing rapidly and bleeding; Mikey stared at him, emotionless, with the kunai in his hand.

"Mikey, what the shell?" Don exclaimed kneeling beside his wounded red masked brother.

"Michelangelo, what have you done?" Leo asked staring angrily at Mikey.

"What it had to be done, Leonardo" Mikey answered walking away the place.

"Fighting a weaponless opponent is…" Leo said but was cut off by and angry Mikey.

"I DON'T WANNA HEAR ONE OF YOUR STUPID SPEECHES ABOUT HONOR!" Mikey yelled and ran upstairs locking himself in his room.

* * *

"_Michelangelo's journal: I can't believe what I just did! The guys were waiting for me in the kitchen so they could talk to me… heh, losers! Anyway... they tried, I resisted and Raph started to argue… well, I started… but he kept it going! So, I… I fought him. The others tried to interfere but we were locked in the dojo. He punched me, I punched him… we both had a bad fight and then… when he pinned me down and grabbed my neck I… I cut him! I cut his wrist! I couldn't believe what I had done but when I saw his blood I… I wanted… I wanted to stop but… I couldn't stop so… I slashed his chest and arm. I don't know what happened to me; I didn't want to hurt him like that! He's my best friend… well, he was. I know he won't forgive me after this… I feel so miserable now" _

Mikey hid his journal under his pillow and slumped in the bed staring blankly at the ceiling. He looked at the stained weapon… his brother's blood still on it. Mikey tossed it in the floor and took a new one to cut both of his wrists this time.

"I'm sorry… Raph" Mikey mumbled as he stared at the blood pouring from his wounds. He let them bleed for a while before cleaning them; once he treated his wounds, the orange masked turtle sat on the floor and hugged his arms around his legs… crying softly.

* * *

Sorry for the biiiig delay! Reviews please ^^


	6. Chapter 6

"Just wait here, Raph. I'm going for more bandages" Don said leaving the lab for more medical supplies.

Raph's wounds hand been cleaned and stitched; the large cut on his chest was bleeding the most so the genius turtle needed more bandages to cover it. Leo sat beside his red masked brother in the bed's lab; besides Don… Mikey was the second in the family who would never EVER react like that while he had an argument with Raph, in fact, Mikey hardly ever argued with Raph! His little brother's behavior was getting weirder and weirder. The blue masked ninja tried to think what could be troubling Mikey's mind. A Brooklyn accented voice made him snap of his thoughts.

"Where's Mikey?" Raph asked.

"His room, I guess" Leo said.

"No Leo, that's not Mikey. I said where is_ our_ Mikey… not that… monstrosity that calls himself_ Michelangelo_" Raph said.

"Raph… Mikey or Michelangelo… he's still our brother!"

"Not anymore fer me. Though I have to admit… he's a better fighter now" Raph teased.

"Yeah, right. A fighter without honor who uses weapons against bare hands! What would Splinter say?" Leo replied.

"Speaking of him… when is he coming home?" Raph asked.

"He just called saying he'll be here in three days… enough time to solve this mess" Leo said.

"Ya think we can solve it?"

"Well… maybe the kitchen is not the best place to talk to him for now" Leo chuckled.

"I'm back!" Don entered into the lab with the supplies.

"Was he still locked in his room?" Leo asked.

"Yeah… nothing but silence… that's scary even for Mikey" Don said as he bandaged Raph's chest.

"Maybe he's asleep… again" Leo said not believing his words.

"After that fight? I'm not so sure he's asleep" Raph snorted.

"Guys… I was thinking… remember the day we lectured him for that prank? I think we were… extra harsh with him" Don said as he finished bandaging Raph's wounds.

"He ain't a baby, Don! Besides he deserved it" Raph replied.

"I don't know… maybe Don is right. Every time Mikey gets lectured for Splinter he doesn't snap of it so easily unless one of us talks to him" Leo commented.

"In this case… we all lectured him and…" Don continued.

"We still acted like jerks the day after… aww shell… now I get it" Raph slapped his forehead.

"I think he's depressed and I mean _DEPRESSED_" Leo said.

"Well, in that case… I could help. I've read something on internet and I guess I could talk to Mikey" Don suggested.

"Good luck with that. I don't think he's gonna let you in" Raph said remembering Mikey never opened the door when one them called him.

"I can wait until he needs something. After all… he needs his videogames and comics to live" Don chuckled. But he was way wrong. Maybe Mikey couldn't live without his beloved games and comics… but this wasn't Mikey anymore.

* * *

The next day, later in the night, the orange masked turtle was making some changes on his room. The posters of his favorite skaters were gone, his bookshelf was empty and his action figures were all packed with his favorite skateboard and videogames. Mikey waited until the area outside his room was clear to leave downstairs.

"Hmm… seems like the others were out" Mikey thought as he went downstairs with a big box in his hands.

"Mik… er… Michelangelo! Good to see you" Don greeted him as he made his way to the lab.

"Gosh… if he's here… then, the others are here too!" Mikey said to himself.

"Relax bro… the others are not here" Don calmed Mikey as he noticed his worried face.

"What are you doing here? Why you're not with your brothers?" Mikey asked bitterly.

"First of all, they're your brothers too. And second… I have some projects to finish now I have some peace and quiet" Don said and entered into the lab.

"Hmmm… I see. Can you… help me with something?" Mikey asked as he followed Don.

"Sure!"

"Get rid of this stuff" Mikey said handing him the box.

"Uh… ok" Don said. The box was heavy and Don's curiosity made him opened it. He was shocked at his discovery: all Mikey's favorite comic books, games and other stuff were packed in that heavy box.

"Wait a sec… Mik… Michelangelo? This is…" Don asked but Mikey interrupted him.

"Old stuff, just that" Mikey answered.

"But… your comics, your skateboard… your games?" Don insisted.

"Old… stuff" Mikey repeated in a serious voice.

"That's it. We have to talk" Don said placing the box in the lab's floor.

"I have nothing to talk, Donatello" Mikey said avoiding his brother's gaze.

"Mikey, please" Don insisted using an extra calmed voice.

"Michelangelo, if you don't mind" Mikey replied crossing arms.

"Ok… Michelangelo… I know something is bothering you and I just want to help" Don said

"Always wanting to be the goody, huh?" Mikey said sarcastically narrowing eyes.

"What?" Don asked in confusion.

"You always think you know everything but you don't, Donatello. You don't know everything; you're not the supreme genius you think you are!" Mikey said raising his voice level as he talked.

"Mik…" Don stepped closer to Mikey.

"Stop calling me like that!" Mikey yelled at him.

"Calm down! I just want to talk" Don insisted. Mikey lost his patience and sent a fist to his brother's face. Luckily, Don caught it in time.

"Stop it, you…!" Don said angrily but then…

"M-Mikey? Are those… cuts?" Don asked in shock noticing the still fresh blood lines on Mikey's wrist.

The purple masked ninja didn't expect what it came after that: he found himself dodging punches and kicks from his youngest sibling.

"Mikey, stop it!" Don said panting and dodging the incoming hits and kicks.

In a matter of seconds, Mikey managed to push Don, making his head to hit the wall which left him half conscious. The genius turtle laid now in the floor moaning from the pain of his bruises and with little blood coming from his mouth. Mikey stared at the scene for moment before running upstairs and locking himself on his room.

"_Michelangelo's journal: I don't know what's going on with me; I almost kicked Donnie to death! And just because he… he discovered the cuts in my wrist… well, almost. But that's not the point! Gosh, what's wrong with me! I know I'm angry at them but that doesn't mean I wanna hurt them… leave alone the fact that I'm the one who's hurting them! Poor Donnie; he just wanted to talk to me and I… and I…" _Mikey couldn't finish writing the entry. He tossed the journal on his bed before breaking into tears. After that, he pulled out his kunai and made a deep cut on his wrist like he always did.

* * *

Some hours later, Leo and Raph returned to the lair. The streets were kinda clear that night so they didn't get much action except for a couple of thugs doing robbery in a little store.

"I'll tell ya… this was da worst patrol night I've had in mah whole life!" Raph said stretching his arms.

"Hey! Not my problem the criminals took some vacations. Besides, you took care of those thugs all on your own!" Leo replied.

"Still, I didn't have enough" Raph said.

"You never have enough, Raph" Leo chuckled.

"Cut it with the sarcasm, Fearless" Raph said giving a warning glare to Leo.

"Oh… someone can't take the truth" Leo teased.

"Usually, I would have an answer fer that. But I'm a good mood so I'll let ya think ya win" Raph chuckled

"Har-di-har. Now why don't you use that good mood of yours and make us something to eat! I'm hungry" Leo said making his way to the kitchen.

"Tuna sandwiches?" Raph asked.

"Hmmm… ok" Both turtles entered to the kitchen. There was Don, holding an ice pack against the left side of his mouth.

"Whoa! What happened to ya? The toaster exploded on yer face?" Raph asked mockingly.

"I'm not in the mood, Raph" Don answered.

"Then what happened?" Leo asked in concern.

"His condition is worse than I thought" Don said sadly.

"You mean… Mikey… Mikey did this to you?" Raph asked in disbelief. Don nodded.

"And there's more. I swear I saw cuts on his wrist… deep ones" Don added.

"He's cutting himself?" Leo asked in shock. He couldn't believe what he was hearing; his baby brother… mutilating himself?

"Apparently yes. Since when? I can't tell exactly" Don said.

"That's it. Splinter is coming tomorrow and we haven't made any progress with him!" Leo said rubbing his temples in exasperation.

"What do ya suggest then?" Raph asked.

"I'll talk to him… even if that means I have to slice the door to get in" Leo stated. But no one, not even Leo, would be prepared for the next day.

* * *

And heeeere's an update! ^^ Whew! Finally! Reviews please?


	7. Chapter 7

"_Michelangelo's journal: I think I went too far with the cutting thing this time. This morning I tried to get up but I felt very clumsy and cold. I didn't know why until I saw the last cuts I made on my wrists. Man, they were bleeding badly! I guess last night I forgot to bandage them. Anyway, it's 8 o' clock now; the others are probably in the kitchen or in the living room waiting for sensei. I heard Leo saying he'll be here today. Maybe if I move very stealthy to the kitchen they won't see me and try to talk to me again. I'm not in the mood after what happened yesterday; Don will probably be worried, Raph angry and Leo… well… he probably will lecture me. I better take care of my wounds and grab something to eat. I'm really hungry"_

* * *

Mikey started to clean the dry blood from his last night cuts and bandage them tightly, then he covered the bandages with his leather wrist bands. After this, he hid some kunais on his belt with his nunchacks and opened the door slowly. The lair was extra quiet… which was weird. It was too early for a patrol round and Splinter was coming. To Mikey, this wasn't a problem.

"If they're not here… that means the kitchen is brothers' free!" Mikey said to himself as he walked downstairs.

He checked every place to make sure his brothers weren't near: Bathroom? Clear; living room? Clear; dojo? Clear; kitchen? Clear!

"This has to be my lucky day!" Mikey thought as he walked to the kitchen.

After a quick breakfast, Mikey made his way to the dojo. He hadn't trained for a while and he felt he needed some exercise. Plus, Master Splinter wouldn't be so pleased if he found the most athletic of his sons totally out of shape. Once in the dojo, Mikey started a little routine of exercises and some moves with his nunchaks; it was a relief that he still remembered his katas but his muscles felt weird and his wrists hurt a little. Mostly for the cuts.

"Very impressive, Michelangelo" A voice said. Mikey recognized it.

"What are you doing here, Leonardo?" Mikey asked still doing his katas.

"I was going to ask you the same, though it's kinda nice seeing you training. You haven't done it in a while" Leo said entering to the dojo. Mikey stopped his training.

"If you're done with your talking, please leave me alone" Mikey said. Leo crossed arms; he wasn't leaving just because Mikey said it. They needed to talk.

"Are you deaf? I said leave me alone!" Mikey said angrily.

"I heard you perfectly and no… I'm not leaving" Leo said.

"Aww, great" Mikey rolled eyes.

"We need to talk" Leo said walking near Mikey.

"Listen, I'm sorry for what happened to your brothers. I admit I lost control but…" Mikey said but Leo interrupted him.

"Lost control? You call that lost control? You attacked Raph with kunais and hit Don till unconsciousness!" Leo said remembering how his brothers' encounters with Mikey ended.

"So?" Mikey said with an expressionless face.

"So? Mikey…" Leo talked. Once the orange masked turtle heard the nickname…

"Stop calling me like that!" Mikey yelled and pushed Leo away.

"What's wrong with you? You're different, changed! I can't recognize you anymore!" Leo said looking at the youngest's blue orbs.

"So you don't like the new me, big brother? The one you and your brothers created?" Mikey said bitterly.

"Created? Mikey, what are you talking about?" Leo asked in shock.

"Forget it. I'm outta here" Mikey said and made his way to the door. Leo moved to the door, blocking it.

"Get off the door" Mikey said angrily.

"You're not leaving until you tell me what's happening to you" Leo insisted.

Mikey walked away not really listening to him. Leo followed Mikey and grabbed his wrist which made Mikey wince but he didn't let Leo to notice it.

"Mikey… tell me what's wrong" Leo said more calmly. Mikey escaped from Leo's grip.

"And what if I don't wanna tell you, huh? What are you gonna do?" Mikey yelled. Leo just shook his head and pulled out his katanas. He didn't want to fight Mikey but he was being really stubborn.

"Oh… you wanna fight me, huh?" Mikey asked sarcastically.

"Mikey, listen. I don't want to do this but you're leaving me no other choice" Leo said.

"Is that it or you're just scared of losing?" Mikey mocked him pulling out his nunchaks.

"You're starting to sound like Raph, you know?" Leo teased him back. Mikey growled and charged. Leo dodged on time.

"Don't you dare to compare me with him!" Mikey yelled angrily.

"Oh… seems like I touched a nerve" Leo kept teasing. Mikey was really angry now; he twirled his nunchacks and tried to hit Leo's arm but he dodged the attack again.

"Whoa! You're fast lil bro" Leo said impressed of Mikey's speed. He didn't know Mikey was so fast. Leo's sword caught one of the nunchaks sending it far from Mikey.

"SHUT UP! Don't call me like that! You lost that right!" Mikey yelled again as he sent a kick to Leo's stomach. Unfortunately, Leo couldn't dodge it this time and fell on his side losing one of his swords.

"What? What right?" Leo asked confused as he tried to get up and recover his sword.

To his surprise, Mikey had it and he looked very angry this time. The orange masked turtle charge into battle again; Leo rolled and jumped getting up just in time to block the next attack with his sword. This was not a simple sparring match; Mikey was attacking… for the kill. The blades clashed once, twice, many times. In a moment of distraction, Mikey made a long cut on Leo's arm. The blue masked turtle fell on his knees and clutched his wounded and now bleeding arm as he stared at his young brother in shock for what he did.

"Mikey, what are you doing?" Leo asked in shock and almost fear. He had never been afraid of one of his brothers… but with this Mikey… things were pretty different. Mikey attacked again, Leo got up and blocked the attack.

"You used to talk to me when something bothered you" Leo said. Mikey kept attacking.

Leo kicked him away making Mikey stumble; he recovered from the impact and charged again with his eyes tightly closed and the katana ready for anything. What happened next… none of them imagined it nor waited for it. Mikey found himself breathing rapidly, his eyes opened and facing the door. He turned around just to see Leo, standing there… motionless before he fell on his knees and hands with blood pouring from him. Mikey had slashed his stomach area deeply. Sure their plastrons gave them protection but not when the attack was precise and hard.

"M-Mikey…" With this Leo fell to ground, bleeding. Mikey stared in horror what he had done; he felt like he was going to throw up.

"L-Leo?" Mikey said nervously. Nobody answered him.

"What… what have I done… what have I done?" Mikey chocked back a sob. After dropping his brother's sword, he ran upstairs and grabbed is journal.

* * *

"_Michelangelo's journal: I'm a monster! I'm a monster! I… I did something horrible… I… I…"_ Mikey's vision blurred as he wrote.

"…_I was… training. Nobody was in the lair… but then… he… he appeared, we argued and I… I… I killed him! I killed Leo! I killed my own brother! God, I'm insane! I… I didn't want to do it. I didn't want to hurt them, I swear! But now… there's no turning back. I will pay my mistake. If someone finds this journal, I just want to say I'm sorry… I didn't want to hurt my family. I don't hate you, guys. Don't try to find me, I'm already gone… for good. I love you all. Mikey"_

* * *

Mikey ran downstairs and left the journal in the living room. After this, he opened the lair's entry and ran away making his way to the farthest tunnel in the sewers.


	8. Chapter 8

"Ya think we have everything?" Raph asked carrying a bag full of food.

"Sure… I only hope Master Splinter is not home yet. That would ruin the surprise" Don said.

Both turtles had left the lair for some extra supplies. With Splinter coming after two weeks, they wanted to give him a little welcome party. They left early in the morning and asked Leo to go with them but the blue masked turtle stayed do he could talk to the youngest.

"What about Mikey?" Raph asked again.

"I'm sure Leo has talked to him already. And you know how good he's with words" Don said sounding positive.

"True, but still… I don't think a simple talk will fix things" Raph added.

"I know. But at least it's a start" Don commented opening the lair's entry.

"Guys! We're home!" Nobody answered Donatello's call.

"Leo? Mikey?" Don insisted. Meanwhile, Raph was making his way to the kitchen when something caught his attention in the living room.

"Hey… what's this thing?" Raph said picking up the brown notebook.

"Looks like that journal Mikey got from April" Don said recognizing the notebook. Raph placed the bags on the couch and opened Mikey's journal.

"Hey! What are you doing?" Don asked almost in an angry tone.

"Reading, duh!" Raph said.

"It's not correct, Raph" Don replied.

"So what! Da numbskull isn't here anyways. Hehe… check this… da first entry is about that stupid prank" Raph said reading the first lines.

"Raph, stop it! These are Mikey's inner thoughts. It's not correct we're reading this" Don said taking away the journal from Raph.

"Aww! C'mon! I'm sure there has to be sumthin' on that thing 'bout Mikey's behavior!" Raph said. He was right, Don hated to admit it but he was.

"You know… you're right! *sigh*… I think I lost my head but… go ahead" Don sighed heavily and gave the journal back to his red masked brother.

"Operation: Triple Pink? Heh! What a lame name" Raph chuckled as he read the entry. As they continued reading, they realized how bad Mikey felt after the triple lecture-torture his brothers gave him.

"Woow, he _did_ feel bad that day" Don said feeling guilty.

"Ya know… come to think of it… I guess I was kinda hard on da lil twerp that day" Raph said.

"Just a little?" Don raised an eyebrow accusingly.

"What! If I remember well, Fearless and you also treated him like dirt" Raph replied.

"I know and I'm not proud of it. Let's keep reading" Don said. Before they could continue, a familiar voice filled the lair.

"My sons, I'm home" Splinter said entering into the lair.

"Master Splinter!" both turtles exclaimed.

"Aw shell! The surprise is ruined now" Don said sadly.

"It does not matter, Donatello. I am glad to be here and see you are alright. Where are Leonardo and Michelangelo?" Splinter asked.

"Er… we really don't know. We went out with April for some things. We asked Leo to come but he stayed because he had to talk to Mikey" Raph explained.

"Is something wrong with Michelangelo?" Splinter asked worried.

"Let just say Mikey hasn't been acting normal lately and Leo stayed here to talk to him" Don answered.

"But when we arrived, they weren't here… and we found Mikey's journal" Raph continued.

"I better call Leo. If they're outside, which I doubt, he sure will come as soon as possible" Don said dialing his brother's number. Leo's phone started to ring but its sound was inexplicable near.

"Hmm… weird. The sound is coming from… the dojo?" Don said confused.

The lair was supposed to be clear when Raph and Don arrived and Leo never forgot his shell-cell at home. Don followed Leo's phone sound to the dojo. When the genius turtle opened the door, he couldn't believe what he was seeing.

"LEO!" Don exclaimed and ran beside his wounded brother.

"LEONARDO!" Splinter rushed beside his son.

"Is he…" Raph asked as he saw Don checking Leo's vital signals.

"No, he's still breathing. Quick, help me to carry him to the lab"

* * *

Don and Raph lifted carefully Leo's body to the lab. Don started to bandage Leo's stomach; luckily, the blue masked ninja hadn't lost too much blood so a transfusion wouldn't be necessary now.

"Who could have done this?" Splinter asked a little angry.

"I guess I know who was… but…" Don said sighing sadly. Of course he knew who was but the genius couldn't believe it was _him_ who had hurt Leo in such a terrible way.

"Donatello?" Splinter insisted. Meanwhile, Raph kept reading the entries. There was so much pain on each one of them; finally, he read the last one.

"Er… sensei… ya better read this" Raph said. Before the old rat could even touch the journal, Leo started to move and blink his eyes slowly.

"M-master S-plinter?" Leo mumbled recognizing his sensei's silhouette.

"My son, who did this to you?" Splinter asked.

"M… Mikey" Leo managed to say feeling a pang of sadness and guilt.

"Why Michelangelo would do something like this?" Splinter exclaimed surprised and shocked.

"Guys, listen to this: _I didn't want to hurt my family. I don't hate you, guys. Don't try to find me, I'm already gone… for good_" Raph read the last lines.

"We… gotta stop him. I know he's… he's gonna do something really bad" Leo say trying to sit up. Splinter stopped him.

"Stay here, Leonardo. You can not move for now. Raphael, Donatello and I will find your brother" the old rat said.

"I have his shell-cell signal. He's moving… and fast" Don said looking at the tracking device.

"Let's move, then" Raph said rushing to the door.

"Don't worry, Leo. We'll find him. You just stay here and don't try to get up" Don said following his father and brother.

"Good luck, guys" Leo said hoping they find Mikey on time before something bad could happen to him.

* * *

Meanwhile, the orange masked turtle found himself sat in a dark tunnel and seeing the sewer water barely touching his feet. Though his eyes were aflamed for all his tears, he was still crying softly, regretting his mistake, thinking how he could pay the damage he caused to his family. He never meant to kill Leo, as he though he did; his sensei was coming home and he would found the lifeless body of the leader of the team lying in the floor. He would ask who did it… and then they would discover the journal with Mikey's confession. Mikey stopped crying and sighed heavily as he looked at his hands; there was some of Leo's blood on them, his brother's blood; after looking at them for one last time, the orange masked ninja pulled out one of his kunais. He finally knew how he was going to pay for his family's suffering; he will put an end to his nightmare, to his guilt, to his suffering, to his pain.

To his life.

Mikey made some last cuts on his wrists, deep cuts. He was already weak for the blood lost from the cuts he bandaged that morning, this new deep cuts just made his condition worse; he couldn't see clearly now, dizziness was taking him but he couldn't lose that battle, he still needed to make one last move. Mikey placed the tip of the kunai on his chest but his hands were shaking a little. The young ninja never thought his life was going to end like that and the idea of committing suicide hadn't come to his mind before. But there was no turning back now, he took a deep breath and closed his eyes.

"I'm sorry guys, father… Leo… love you all. Forgive me" Mikey muttered letting a tear roll down his cheek.

One fast move… the weapon went deep inside him. His breath was laborated and slow; the pain was unbearable but Mikey was bleeding fast, his energy decreasing, making him forget about the pain. A couple of tears escaped from Mikey's eyes before closing them. His debt was paid… at last.


	9. Chapter 9

We're almost done with this story ^^ I couldn't kill Mikey, I just couldn't T.T

He's so funny and cute and makes me laugh a lot so I couldn't kill him. Anyway... one more chap and bye bye to MIKEMO to say hello to a new fic of your dear writer Who ^^. Reviews make me happy so don't forget to review, please ^^

* * *

Leo was getting worried by minute. There was no news about Mikey and he couldn't do anything because of his injured; it wasn't so bad but Don and Splinter had forbidden him to move. Leo dialed Mikey's number but he got no answer which made him get more and more worried; he dialed Raph's number now.

"Hey Raph, anything yet?" Leo asked, hoping his brother would give him some good news.

"No; I tried to call him but he's not answering" Raph said.

"Yeah, same here. When you find him… please let me know, ok?" Leo said.

"Got it" after this, the line went dead.

No good news equals: extra worried Leo. He needed to do something; his brother could be in terrible danger or maybe worse. The blue masked ninja managed to get up the lab's table and grab his weapons. Then, he saw the journal.

"Mikey's journal?" Leo said recognizing the notebook. He started reading it; the first pages held lots of pain and suffering from the youngest of the team.

Leo remembered the night Mikey got lectured by him and his other two brothers. He always blamed himself for that but he never thought that was going to affect Mikey that much. The following entry was sad and had tear drop's stains and…

"Is this… blood?" Leo asked to himself noticing the little red blotches. When he read the 6th entry, he confirmed his worse thoughts.

* * *

"… _I had a knife and I cut myself accidentally. Now, the weird thing is… it felt… good. I know it sounds strange but that's how I felt, wait… how I feel, actually. Maybe it's just my imagination but… what if I try again?..."_

* * *

"What?" Leo opened his eyes wide. He couldn't believe what he was reading but he had to continue; in some of those entries could be the answer he was seeking for.

* * *

"… _It happened again! I prinked my finger and… the way the blood appeared… it was… it felt… I can't even explain it! But one thing is for sure… I have to do it again. I NEED to do it again!" _

* * *

"Mikey…" Leo felt a pang of sadness. He continued reading.

"_Mikey's Journal: Today, Monday, September 12__th__; I, Michelangelo, have found the cure to my pain. With more pain… bearable pain,_ _soothing pain… sweet pain…" _ This entry was bloodier than the other ones.

"… _no more fun-loving, weak, brainless, stupid numbskull Mikey. He died today. From now and on, it will only exist Michelangelo… just Michelangelo"_

"So that would explain the name thingy" Leo thought. He felt guilty for his little brother's suffering.

"If I just had talk to him the following day… none of this would've happened" Leo sighed sadly. Finally, he reached the last entry.

"_Michelangelo's journal: I'm a monster! I'm a monster! I… I did something horrible… I… I…"_ Leo noticed some tear drops. Mikey was crying when wrote that entry.

"…_I was… training. Nobody was in the lair… but then… he… he appeared, we argued and I… I… I killed him! I killed Leo! I killed my own brother! God, I'm insane! I… I didn't want to do it. I didn't want to hurt them, I swear!..." _Leo read.

"He thinks I'm dead? That's why he ran away?" Leo said to himself and continued reading the entry.

"… _But now… there's no turning back. I will pay my mistake. If someone finds this journal, I just want to say I'm sorry… I didn't want to hurt my family. I don't hate you, guys. Don't try to find me, I'm already gone… for good. I love you all. Mikey" _Something on Leo's heart knew Mikey was going to do something extreme… and bad.

"I have to stop him!"

With this, Leo left tossed the journal in the couch and made his way to the only place Mikey could have gone in his depressing state. Leo was the only one who knew about Mikey's secret place: the farthest tunnel in the sewers. Leo found him crying there once when Splinter lectured for pulling a prank on Don which caused him to break an arm accidentally. Mikey was the most sensible of them and that lecture was hard. The blue masked ninja remembered he saw Mikey leaving the lair and Leo followed him to a dark tunnel and there was when he discovered his little brother crying. Mikey told him he used to go there when he felt sad or tired of everything… or just when he needed to cry. Leo hoped Mikey was there, safe… but he was wrong.

Leo walked carefully through the slippery tunnel, calling for Mikey all the way. He finally found the dark tunnel and walked in slowly trying not to fright his little brother.

"Mikey? It's me, Leo" Leo said.

"I'm ok, Mikey. You didn't kill me… lucky me, hehe" Leo continued walking inside the tunnel. It was really dark so he couldn't see Mikey's body lying there with a kunai stuck on his chest.

"C'mon, Mikey. The others are worried, Master Splinter is here and… we know about your problem. We just want to help you" Leo said in a calming voice. Then, the blue masked ninja stepped on something slightly warm and sticky; he could feel the copper smell in the air… which was very familiar for him.

"Mikey?" Leo kneeled when his foot felt cold skin on its way. Leo couldn't see anything but using his hands, he found Mikey's shoulder.

"Mikey, you ok bro?" Leo shook Mikey. No answer.

"Mikey, quit playing!" Leo insisted.

His hand slipped to Mikey's chest, feeling something cold… and familiar too. Leo's eyes went wide open in realization; the smell was blood and the thing on Mikey's chest felt like a kunai. The kenjutsu master grabbed Mikey's body to the light and then all his doubts were cleared.

"Mikey, no!" Leo yelled as he noticed the sharp weapon on his little brother's bloody chest. Rapidly he checked for Mikey's vital signs, pressing his finger on Mikey's neck trying to find a pulse.

He waited… and waited… and waited.

"C'mon Mikey, don't do this to me" Leo said pressing his fingers on Mikey's neck again.

And then… a weak pulse. Mikey was alive… but very weak. Leo let out a sigh in relief and carried Mikey's body bridal style.

"You'll be ok, Mikey. I promise" Leo said pulling out his shell-cell and dialing Raph's number.

"Raph, I found him" Leo said as he ran through the sewers. He had to be fast… for Mikey's sake.

"Leo? What ya mean ya found him?" Raph asked in confusion.

"He left the lab?" Don exclaimed angrily.

"Explanations later, meet me in the lair but you have to quick!" Leo said panting.

"What happened to him?" Raph asked.

"He… he tried to kill himself" Leo explained.

"WHAT?" Raph couldn't believe what Leo had just said. Mikey had committed suicide?

"Can't say more, I have to go" Leo said and hung up the phone. He increased his speed though it was kinda difficult to run with a body on his arms and a bandaged injured stomach.

"I'm sorry, Mikey. I'm so sorry" Leo said, hoping his brother could hear him. A couple of tunnels more and Leo arrived to the lair, seconds later his brothers and father would join.


	10. Chapter 10

The hours passed slowly; Mikey had received a transfusion but there was no sign of consciousness yet. While Don cleaned the wounds, he noticed the recent and old cuts on his brother's wrists; most of them were pretty deep and long, luckily they weren't infected… Mikey had done a good job on cleaning, bandaging and hiding them. The genius turtle left the lab after he checked Mikey's vital signs for one last time.

In the living room, the guys had told Splinter everything: Mikey's prank, Mikey's weird behavior and the journal. Splinter couldn't believe the most cheerful of his sons had decided to act that way but the reasons were kinda understandable… not that he applauded Mikey's actions but his brothers' ones weren't so good either. They knew Mikey couldn't be lectured without feeling sad or depressed after that… and they did it all together the same night. To make things worse: neither of them talked to him the following day which aggravated Mikey's depressive state.

"We only need to wait now" Don sighed.

"I'm sorry, sensei. You left me in charge and I ruined it all" Leo said feeling ashamed.

"I think you're not the only one to blame here, Leo" Don said.

"Agree. We all were hard on him… we're all guilty" Raph added.

"I should have tried to talk to him… as I always did when he got lectured! What happened to me?" Leo sighed sadly.

"What is done… is done, my sons. You own your brother an apologize but I fear that will not be enough this time" Splinter said sadly.

* * *

Later in the night, the guys decided to sleep in the lab. They felt so guilty that they couldn't sleep knowing their little brother was going to be alone and unconscious; he already _had_ felt alone all this time and they weren't going to let _that_ happen again. While Mikey was unconscious, many thoughts came to his mind: the way he treated his brothers, the time when he hurt two them and "killed" Leo. He thought he had killed his big brother… his protector and leader. This last thought was haunting the young ninja, causing him nightmares… terrible nightmares.

* * *

"Huh? Where am I? Guys?" Mikey said. He was surrounded by darkness... nothing but darkness.

"Raph? Donnie? Where are you?" Mikey insisted.

In front of him appeared the empty lair. Then, voices coming from the dojo… the last place he saw Leo, the place where Leo died… the place where Mikey "killed" him. Mikey ran to the place but when he got there… no one was there, not even Leo's body.

"Ok, this is getting creepier and creepier" Mikey said to himself.

"_You did it"_ A voice behind Mikey said.

"AHHH!" Mikey yelled. He turned back just to face up with an angry Raph.

"_Ya killed him!"_ Raph continued.

"Raph? I… I can explain!"Mikey said. Another voice interrupted him.

"_I don't think you can do that"_

"Donnie?" Mikey said as he saw his genius brother walking near to him.

"_I can believe you did that to him, to your own brother"_ Don hissed.

"It was… it was… I didn't… but…" Mikey stuttered.

"_Speechless, Michelangelo?"_ A new voice said. Mikey turned around just to see Leo stood behind him.

"LEO! Thanks heavens you're…"

"_They can't see me, Michelangelo"_ Leo interrupted Mikey.

"What?" Mikey exclaimed.

"_You killed me"_ Leo continued.

"Leo, it was an…" Mikey tried to explain.

"_Accident? Yeah… right"_ Leo said bitterly.

"Guys, you have to believe me. I didn't want to hurt you!" Mikey said.

"_Liar"_ Leo said.

"_Knucklehead"_ Raph continued.

"Guys, please! You have to listen to me!" Mikey insisted.

"_Lazy shell"_ Don added.

"_Shell-fer-brains"_ Raph said.

"Guys, stop it!" Mikey covered his ears. This was too much for him.

"Please, stop! Bros, I'm sorry; I really am… but please, stop! " Mikey clenched his eyes shut trying to stop the incoming tears.

"_We're not brothers of yours!"_ Leo said angrily. Mikey opened his eyes wide in disbelief.

"_Now you're gone, we'll be the perfect team!"_ Leo continued with an evil grin on his face.

"_No more pranks!"_ Raph said.

"_No more silly games!" _Don continued.

"_No more mistakes!"_ Leo added.

"_You are a mistake, Michelangelo! You always were!" _the three brothers said in an accusing tone. Mikey fell on his knees with his ears still covered; little tears started to make his way through his cheeks.

"Guys… please! P-please… s-stop! It hurts… it h-hurts so much!" Mike begged as he sobbed.

"_But you like the pain!"_ Leo said mockingly.

"_You love the pain"_ Don continued.

"_Ya can't live without pain" _Raph ended.

"N-not true… n-not true" Mikey sobbed. The three ninjas started to walk away… leaving Mikey alone in the darkness.

"Guys? GUYS! PLEASE, DON'T LEAVE ME! PLEASE!" Mikey yelled desperately.

* * *

The whimpering sounds made Leo to wake up immediately just to find Mikey tossing his head from side to side, his eyes clenched shut tightly and mumbling something.

"Mikey?" Leo stood up and ran to his brother's side.

"Guys… please…" Mikey mumbled.

"Raph, Don… Mikey's waking up!" Raph and Don woke up and rushed to Mikey's side.

"Mikey?" Leo shook Mikey gently.

"Please… don't… I'm sorry…" Mikey mumbled.

"C'mon, bro. Wake up!" Leo shook him more insistently. Mikey opened his eyes slowly, blinking and trying to adjust to the light.

"Hey Mikey; you give us a scare!" Leo said with a smirk.

"L-Leo?" Mikey managed to sit up with Don's help.

"Hey bro. How are y…" Leo started but was interrupted by Mikey who pulled his blue masked brother into a tight hug.

"LEO! YOU'RE OK! I DIDN'T KILL YOU!" Mikey yelled in a cheerful tone.

"Hehe… yeah, yeah. I'm fine" Leo returned the embrace.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry guys! I didn't mean it, I swear!" Mikey sobbed softly.

"Ssh… it's ok Mikey. You don't need to apologize" Leo calmed his little brother rocking him gently.

"That would be us, bro. We did this to you" Don said with shame on his voice.

"Yeah, we shouldn't have treated ya like that. We knew ya are… y'know…" Raph said insecure of what could be the right words to say.

"Childish?" Mikey ended Raph phrase.

"What? No! No, Mikey… you're not childish. He tried to say sensible; you're the most sensible of us and… we should've known our behavior could affect you" Leo explained.

"But… I hurt you, guys. I hurt Raph, Donnie and I almost… I almost…" Mikey sobbed.

"I think we deserved it… in sort a way" Raph chuckled.

"How did you find me?" Mikey asked trying to stop his tears.

"Leo did" Raph said.

"Lucky us he left the lab… after I told him to stay" Don said giving a sympathetic glare to his blue banded brother.

"But ya can't blame him for that. After all, he found him" Raph stated.

"Guys, could we continue this conversation tomorrow? There's another issue here" Leo said referring to his still sobbing little brother.

"Mikey, we're truly sorry for this. We turned you into _this_! We're the responsible ones of your suffering. We're not asking you to forgive us; in fact, we don't deserve it! But please, _please_… stop hurting yourself for something that _we_ did" Leo said fighting his own tears of guilt.

"How do you expect me to not forgive you when I'm the one who has to be asking for that? I hurt you! I disappointed you! If it wasn't for that stupid prank, none of this would've happened in the first place. And… and that horrible nightmare I just had… you guys… you hated me and…" Mikey cried burying his wet face on Leo's chest.

"Ssh… it's ok Mikey. We don't hate you; we could never do something like that" Don said rubbing Mikey's shell comfortingly.

"Yer maybe a lil annoying sometimes but… that's how you are; that makes ya especial and… we just forgot it" Raph added.

"Whoa, Raph. That was deep, bro" Mikey chuckled.

"I'll smack ya later for that, kid" Raph said with a smirk joining his brothers in a group hug.

The following weeks, the three brothers with the help of their sensei, helped Mikey with his internal and external healing. Both wounds needed to be cured: the wounds on his body and especially… the ones on his soul. The orange masked ninja still had nightmares but here was the difference: Mikey was not alone anymore; he had his brothers back to him… to comfort him, to help him to fight his fears. Michelangelo was no more… Mikey was back again and he was going to stay… forever.

* * *

Whew! Finally done with this fic. ^^ I've been having some... problems (Hittler mom) ¬¬ I'm sorry for the biiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiig delay ^^' Reviews please?


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